le ciel et l'enfer.
Sunday, December 27, 2009 @ 1:30 AM
Damn. The net seems so utterly useless when it comes to history research 'cause all the articles that I want are abstracts and you'll have to pay to read the entire thing. WTF. After long hours of this crap, all I have are a few articles which I don't really know if they're of any use at all & a list of books for me to look for in the NLB on Tuesday. And not to forget we have to actually READ through the books. ZZZ.一念天堂, 一念地狱. And I'm on my way to hell. TA-TA.
lucioles.
Saturday, December 26, 2009 @ 11:23 PM
Damn. It's a total 'THANK' you from me to the %@$%@ History Researh Project. I have totally NO IDEA where to start! @_@Vivez la vie.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009 @ 11:16 PM
"Les vrais paradis sont les paradis qu'on a perdus." --- Proust
When I asked myself a year ago, 'Why do I even bother?', my answer was 'because that's a part of me & my life.'
When I ask myself now, 'Why do I even bother?', my answer is 'I don't know.'
Every day, every hour, every minute, one loses a bit of himself. One changes. Comparing to a few years ago, one may find that he/she is no longer as happy as before. He/she no longer remember how it feels to be genuinely happy, and not because he/she is just putting on a show. What's lost cannot be found anymore, at least not that easily. It is so much easier to lose than acquire. One decision, one sentence or even one single word can make one lose something that he/she treasures. Most of the time, it is not for one to decide. Sacrifices are made along the way. Priorities have to be set. Difficult choices have to be made. Hearts are broken. Tears are shed. Some things are lost. Lessons are learnt. Things are different now. As one loses more and more of himself, one starts to forget what exactly is real happiness. One gets confused and starts to be unsure of what to do exactly and the purpose of his/her actions. As things get more and more complicated, the simplicity of a happy life is lost. Misconceptions that to have more is the key to be happy. But often, more is lost in the midst of acquiring that what is gained. Still, everything has to go on. Nothing can be made to stop it. Unless one cease to live.
True freedom does not exist. True happiness is hard to come by. I am just a fool.